In Arms
by acemaclove88
Summary: Tristan's going away...where? For how long? Why? Rory and him are together, set in the future...AU and may be slightly OOC in the future. Read and review please!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Jetstream lover

Rory crossed her arms defensively over her pajama clad chest, her lower lip trembling as she watched the love of her life shuffling around their apartment, gathering his things and shoving them in a large duffle bag. She blinked her eyes rapidly as tears blurred her vision when he turned around, facing her with those soft caring eyes and sad smile on his features.

"Mary…" he softly said, shaking his head when he heard her choke on a sob as soon as he spoke.

"Don't" She choked when he moved closer to her, causing him to stop "Don't. If you…just don't. I wont be able to take it if you touch me…I wont let you leave" She sobbed, shaking her head and walking backwards, away from him.

"So you want me to be standing 20 ft away from you for the next hour?" he asked gently

"Please don't" Rory choked, not knowing what she was pleading for as she backed herself into the wall while he moved closer to her, not stopping.

"Rory…" He urged softly when he had reached her, nudging her chin up to look at him "I'm sorry" he whispered, stroking her cheek. She shook her head and forcefully wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her, resting her chin on his shoulder, staring at the suitcase behind him.

"Shh. Calm down sweetheart" Tristan whispered, his voice breaking slightly as he felt her shoulders shaking

"I can't! You're leaving for god knows how long. Why you?! They have plenty of other medics they can send out! Why you!" She cried hysterically, pulling back and violently shaking his shoulders

"I need you to calm down Mary. Just take some deep breaths. Come on…do it for me" He coaxed, a concerned look gracing his features

"Who's going to call me Mary huh? Who's going to make fun of me for practically _every_ stupid quirky thing I do Tristan! Who's going to cook for me…I can't cook. I'll starve. You know I hate sleeping alone! Who's going to hold me at night huh? Who!" She shouted, sobbing her heart out

"Rory…please calm down…you're scaring me baby." Tristan pleaded, wiping his own tears away

"Please Tristan. I love you…I love you too much to be able to get through this" She pleaded, tears still running down her face

"I'll be back Mary. I promise" Tristan whispered, leading them to the couch and sitting them both down on it

"Don't make promises you can't keep" Rory snapped, choking on her words "they can't do this…tell them no Tristan…just tell them you can't" she added afterwards

Tristan sucked in a breath He knew this was going to be tough; never in a million years did he think it would be this hard. "I can't do that" he said softly "I will come back Rory. I promise…have I ever broken a promise?" he asked

Rory shook her head, hiccupping as she fought a fresh batch of tears "No" she whispered quietly

"It's for 6 months…its going to go by like that" he said, snapping his fingers for emphasis "_Trust me_. You trust me right?" he asked softly

"Yeah" She whispered "6 months is too long Tristan"

"Come on. You have work, school, your mom…you're not even going to have time to think about me" He coaxed

"Never" Rory whispered "I…I could never Tristan. You…you're my life. I don know what I'm going to do"

"You." he stated firmly "Are going to be great. I'll call when I can. And we'll write each other…come on. It can be like one of those old cheesy romantic movies" he joked with a watery smile

"Don't joke" Rory choked, forcing a smile for him "Aren't you going to miss me?" she asked desperately

"God Rory, its taking everything I have not to break my own leg so I don't have to go…but I know I have you to come back to…so I'll be that much more careful" he said softly

"That's brilliant. Break your arm though. Your left arm" she said seriously between sniffles.

"Rory…" Tristan said with a soft smile

"Mary…its Mary. I wont hear that name for months…it's Mary" She said strongly, a few tears escaping her eyes

"Okay. Mary" he clarified "You hated that nickname" he said softly

Rory shook her head "I hated _you_ at the time" she laughed sadly "Tristan…" she started quietly, looking down at their hands which were interlaced "Please come back" She said desperately, tears falling from her eyes onto their hands. "I need you okay?"

Tristan nodded "I will come back" he stated "I promise. You're strong Mar…you'll get through this. And 6 months…that's nothing in the scheme of things right?"

Rory shook her head "Too long." She argued "Where's your cologne?" Rory asked suddenly

"What?" he asked confused "Why do you need that/"

Rory stood up "Where is it Tristan…where the fuck is that cologne or aftershave or whatever the fuck you put on at night!" She said frantically

Tristan stood up as well, "Calm down. It's in the bag…" he said softly while getting it out for her

She snatched it from him and ran into their bedroom, leaving him no choice but to follow. He furrowed his brows, shaking his head as he made his way into the room, confused when he saw her spraying everything with it.

"What are you doing" He asked, stopping her before she got to the bed

"It smells like you" She whispered

"Mary…" he pleaded quietly, not knowing what to say as he fought to stay strong while watching this strong independent woman come apart before him.

"Just let me…the pillow Tristan…I need it to smell like you. I need you here" She pleaded, pushing her way past him and spraying it all over his pillow

"Mary…Mary!" He said loudly, taking the bottle away from her "I'm here…I'll always be here for you. You're gonna go nuts if you keep this up okay?" he said softly when she turned around to face him

"I'm already nuts if you haven't noticed Tristan!" She shouted "The love of my life is going to fight in a war I don't even believe in! And I don't know if he's ever coming back; so forgive me if I'm crazier than my usual self" She sobbed, breaking down on their bed

"I'm going to have Logan stay with you for a while okay?" He said as he sat down on the bed, pulling her huddled body into his lap

Rory nodded against him "You'll take care of yourself okay Rory?" He asked

"I'm not the eon who's going to have grenades and bullets being thrown at me, so no. you take care of yourself" She whispered

Tristan chuckled "Fair enough. I love you Mary…this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do…but I love you. Don't ever forget that" he said more seriously

"You're talking like I might never see you again. Don't talk like that" she growled

"You will see me again…after all; like you said…who's going to call you Mary?" he asked with an indignant look on his face.

Rory smiled for him "I love you too." She whispered

"When do you want Logan to come over?" he asked with a half grin

Rory shrugged "Whenever he can" She said carelessly "How long do you have?"

Tristan looked at the clock "45 minutes" he responded

Rory nodded "Did you pack everything?" she asked, gently rubbing his back, relishing being in his arms, a feeling she wouldn't have for the next 6 months.

He nodded "Everything" he confirmed

"A picture of us?" she asked

"First thing I stuck in there." He smiled

"Of Evie?" She asked

He chuckled "Yeah. I've got a picture of her too." He said, loving how well she knew him and his family

"Will you still have your job when you come back Tris?" Rory asked quietly

"I probably won't be chief resident. But I'll still have a job waiting" he answered "don't worry okay? We'll figure that all out when the time comes." He assured her

Rory nodded "So how often do you think you'll be able to call me?" she asked, tightening her arms around him

"Once a week most likely. It depends on how the conditions are over there. But I'll call as much as I can okay?" he said optimistically knowing that even once a week was a stretch

"I can write you right? I mean…you'll get the letters" She asked

"Of course. Write away Rory. You know I would love to get letters from you. It'll keep me sane" he chuckled

Rory nodded "Okay then" She said, getting up and walking over to her nightstand

"What are you doing?" he asked

"Here" She whispered, pulling out a large stack of letters bound by a rubber band

"What are these?" He asked confused, taking the pile from her

"Ever since we've known…well I guess before that as well. I've been writing…well pretty much everything. Memories we've shared…thoughts you know, that kind of stuff. And when we realized you were leaving, I thought it would be cool to kind of write these letters for you…just so you have something to hold on to. There's about 30 of them so I guess whenever you have time. Like one or two a week would probably keep them going." She explained

Tristan felt a tear slip down his cheek. "Rory" He whispered, realizing that this may very well be the last moment they spend together. He set the stack of letters down and pulled her back down against him, hugging him tightly to her

"Hey. Military men don't cry" Rory choked, wiping his damp eyes

"You're incredible Mary." He said softly

"Remember one or two a week…and don't talk to me about them. Its weird and sort of embarrassing…I don't know. I just thought you might want to read them……you don't have to, in fact they might be boring…so maybe you should opt for a book instead" She said nervously, feeling a bit uneasy about the prospect of him practically reading her journal entries.

"Mary" he interrupted "I'd _love_ to read them"

"Okay then." She said with a nod "15 minutes" she said sadly looking at the time

Tristan smiled softly "Longer than Romeo and Juliet had" he smirked

Rory laughed "You were such an idiot leaving us like that…I had to kiss Paris!" She exclaimed

"And what a sight it was…" Tristan mused

"Tris!" Rory groaned "Images of me kissing Paris does nothing for me"

"But it does things for me…" He teased

"You are unbelievable." She stated

"Hey. I'm going overseas for 6 months. That's 6 months without _anything_. And I'll be sharing a room with about 5 other people at least…that's not much alone time" he said with a smirk, knowing he was making her uncomfortable

"Shut up" she whined

"I'm sorry Mare" He said as he glanced at the clock

"5 more minutes" She mumbled into his shirt, not wanting to let him go

"That's exactly what we have." He said sadly, standing up, bringing her with him as she refused to dislodge herself from him

He sighed "at least bring your legs up so we don't look like we're doing a really bad version of the Viennese waltz." He joked as he carried her to the living room

"Hey. You said you would never bring that up again!" She said embarrassed

"I'm sorry that you are a terrible dancer. Despite you being a debutante" he smirked "You have to get down Mary" he said when she refused to stand on her own

"Fine" She huffed, handing him the letters she picked up from the bedroom

He stuffed the papers into his duffel bag and slung it over his shoulder "I'll call Logan, tell him to come over in about 3 hours?" he suggested, loosely resting his hands on her hips

Rory looked down, her lower lip trembling and nodded "Yeah" She whispered brokenly

"Everything's taken care of so you don't have to worry about Rent, or bills or anything alright?" he told her, ducking his head to get a better look at her as his voice cracked

"Least of my worries" She whispered, dropping her forehead onto his chest

"Okay…I love you Mary" He said softly

Rory nodded "I know" She whispered "I love you ET" she choked, still not looking at him

Tristan brought her chin up and leaned down, capturing her in a passionate kiss before she had time to say anything. He rested his forehead against hers when he finally pulled back, one hand behind her neck and one around her back, keeping her close to him.

"See you soon" He whispered with a forced smile

"I'm counting on it" she laughed sadly as he gave her one last kiss on her forehead and turned around, not being able to look back as he walked out the door. Rory waited until he had closed the door before running up to it and opening it, watching him slowly walk to the elevator. He turned around, a sad smile on his features as he stepped inside and winked at her before the doors shut.

A/N: Okay what do you think? I think I could do some interesting things with this, but it's really your call so review, tell me what you think/want to happen!


	2. Chapter 2: Waiting line

Chapter 2: Waiting line

"Ace?" She heard one of her best friends call as she lay in bed, trying to concentrate on the book in her hand but finding it hard to do so.

"In here" She said hoarsely, her voice thick from crying

Logan came in and smiled softly "Hey. How you holding up?" He asked, sitting down next to her on the bed

Rory shrugged "I stopped crying" she said carelessly

"That's a start" he chuckled "He's going to be back before you know it Ace" Logan assured

Rory nodded mutely "You want something to eat or drink?" She asked

He shook his head "I'm fine. How about we go to Juanita's…get you some tacos" he suggested with a grin

Rory nodded "Sure, just let me get ready. You can watch TV or do whatever…" She said practically pushing him out the door.

"I'm giving you 30 minutes Ace. After that, I'm making _you_ cook" Logan joked from the living room with a smirk

Rory rolled her eyes "Whatever Huntzberger" she mumbled shutting the door.

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"Brilliant idea. Juanita's is amazing" Rory mumbled while stuffing another bite into her mouth

Logan smiled "I try. So what do you want to do for the rest of the day?" he asked

Rory shook her head "I'll be fine Logan. Besides, you probably have things to do. Like work maybe?" she suggested

"Nope. Canceled everything, so I repeat. What do you want to do?" he asked again

"You dropped everything to come and be bored with me?" She asked incredulously

"I dropped everything because one of my best friends needed me. Now would you stop ranting about this and just get on with it" he said with a sigh

"Thanks" Rory said with a soft smile "How about…oh I don't know, you're the adventurous one!" She exclaimed when she couldn't think of anything

"How about we go play tennis?" he asked with a smirk

Rory's eyes widened "You did not just suggest a physical activity!" She exclaimed

"I did" he confirmed with a nod "Fine fine" he relented at her glare "How about we visit Stars hollow? I bet Babbette and Mrs. Patty are missing this perfect face" he said smirking

Rory grinned "Sounds perfect. Mrs. Patty is in her serenading phase by the way, so you're perfect little rear is going to be just fine"

Logan laughed "I love you Ace"

"Come on! Finish eating…I want to see what song she's going to dish out for you…" she ushered

"I'm going I'm going Ace…you still have 2 tacos left!" he stated

"Logan?" Rory asked after she had finished eating

"Yeah?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, seeing she was going to say something pretty serious

"Thank you" She said quietly "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything" he said curiously

"Don't tell my mom how terribly I'm taking it. I can tell you know that I'm in pretty bad shape…but I cant let her know…it would kill her too, and she's happy right now" She pleaded

"She would understand Ace…you never keep anything from her" he said confused

"Just…please don't say anything. I know she's going to ask you…but I don't want her worrying when she and Luke are finally happy. You know how self destructive she gets when something goes wrong in her life…I don't want that happening" She explained

Logan nodded "Fine" he sighed "But she's going to notice Rory. She's your mom"

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It was almost 6 when her cell phone rang. Immediately she snapped it open and answered

"Hello?"

"_Hey beautiful" She heard the voice on the other side say_

Rory grinned "Hi" She said awkwardly

"_I just wanted to call and let you know I got here safely. I don't know if I'll be able to call you for a while…" he said regretfully_

"Oh" Rory said disappointed "I miss you" she said softly

"_I miss you too Mary. How's Logan?" he asked_

"Fine. We're in Stars hollow" She responded

"_Good. Tell your mom I say hey…I love you Rory…stay beautiful" he teased_

"_You_ stay beautiful" Rory countered

"_I have to go…I'll talk to you soon, promise" he said_

"Love you, be safe" Rory said before hanging up

"I take it that was Tristan" Lorelai said as soon as she hung up the phone

Rory turned to face her and nodded "Yeah…he's there" she answered put out

"I know you're a wreck kid" she said, sitting down on the bed and patting the spot next to it for Rory

Rory sighed, closing her eyes as she walked and sat down next to her "I knew Logan wouldn't keep his mouth shut" she muttered

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Lorelai asked

"Its not that I didn't want to mom…I swear. It's just…things are really good for you now, and I don't need to be bringing everyone else down with me. I mean…thousands of girlfriends and wives…they deal with It." she explained

"It's okay to miss him Rory…its okay to be a wreck" Lorelai comforted

"I know. and I am…trust me…I am" Rory cried, trying to hold back her tears "I cant stay like this though…I'll drive my self crazy" she said shaking her head

"Like the nysnc song?" Lorelai teased

Rory laughed through her tears "Thanks mom"

"You want me to come stay with you for a while?" Lorelai asked

Rory shook her head "I'll be fine…its only 6 months right?" she said taking a deep breath

"I can come babe…" She pushed

"You can't stay with me for 6 months. I'll be _fine_" Rory insisted "Come n…I have some ass kicking to do" Rory teased referring to Logan.

"Not too hard! It's too nice to look at!" Lorelai yelled after her

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"What did I hear about my ass being nice to look at?" Logan smirked when he saw a pissed off looking Rory walk into the kitchen

Rory glared, remaining silent.

"Give it up Ace, your eyes give you away…you're not really angry" Logan said amused

Rory tried biting back a grin, stomping her foot when she couldn't "I hate you" She said with a smile

"You want some cake?" Logan asked when the oven beeped

Rory squealed "I love you!" She shouted as she saw her favorite cake coming out of the oven "Is this what I think it is?" she asked happily

"German chocolate cake with my own little twist? Yes it is" He answered with a knowing smile

"Logan…this takes hours to make! Thank you" She said hugging him

"No problem Ace…now come on. Grab that ice cream before the cake gets cold" he ushered

Rory grabbed a carton of vanilla ice cream from the freezer and made a few bowls. "Mooooomm!!! Guess what Logan made" Rory shouted, carrying two bowls into the living room

Lorelai grinned "Oh Logie…you shouldn't have" She said fluttering her eyelashes at him as she took the bowl from Rory

Logan groaned and the nickname "Logie? Are you serious! No one's called me that since I was 4" he whined, taking a seat next to her

"Not true!" Rory gasped from her seat on the couch "I remember Valerie Cartion calling you that at my grandparents Christmas party last year!"

Logan glared "You just had to bring that up. No more cake for you!" he stated

"Oh come on Logie…Valerie wasn't _that_ bad. But I have to say…your first wife was by far superior" Rory teased

"I'm not so sure. My first wife made me a mud pie for our first meal…literally" he smirked, remembering their mock wedding they had when they were around 4 years old.

"Hey…that was an amazing heart shaped mud pie!" Rory defended.

"Right. And then you stuck your foot in it because I wouldn't eat It." he mused

"I'm in the mood for a sappy movie" Rory announced making both Lorelai and Logan groan.

"Hey!" Rory defended "Come on guys…you know I hate watching movies alone"

"Sappy? Sappy as in Casablanca sappy or sappy as in chick flick from the 90's sappy?" Lorelai asked suspiciously

"Sappy as in I want to cry my eyes out until they bleed!" She said defiantly

"So…Casablanca?" Lorelai said hopefully

She shook her head "Like an affair to remember" She stated making them both cringe

"Alright sweets, I'll grab the ice cream" Lorelai said sympathetically eyeing Logan

"Yeah…and I'll grab the cake" he said looking at Lorelai confused

"Freeze" Rory stated "I'm not an idiot." She said slowly like she was talking to children "If you guys aren't back in 5 minutes I'm going to tell Luke you're sick and that you can't have coffee. And you!" She said to Logan who was smirking "I'll tell Steph you stole her Prada tie!" She said

"It's a mens tie…" Logan defended

"Its Stephs and she's been looking for it for 3 months!" Rory exclaimed

"Fine fine…we're coming back. But give us 15…we need to run to Doose's and grab some comfort food for ourselves" Lorelai groaned

"Fine. Oh and grab some pizza on your way back" Rory said excitedly

"Aye aye captain" Logan sarcastically remarked

After they left Rory sighed, looking around her childhood home. She was so confused…confused about what she was supposed to do…just about everything. Slowly, she opened the duffel bag lying next to her and took out a picture of her and Tristan from it. It was a candid…their foreheads were leaning against each other's and they were just gazing into each other's eyes like nothing else mattered into the world. Things were so much simpler back then…well maybe not…but definitely not as complicated as they were now. What if something happened? How was she supposed to get in touch with him… I guess it didn't really matter…if something were to _really_ go wrong…they had ways of contacting him right? Of course they did.

"Oh Tristan…" Rory whispered sadly as she watched a lone tear sputter onto the frame. He called her today, that meant he wouldn't be calling at least for another week…she hoped her letters were keeping him busy…What was she thinking? It had only been one day…he was probably too busy to even think about her and here she was…pining for him. But deep down she knew it wasn't true…he missed her just as much as she missed him.

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"Dugrey! Over here man" he heard one of his friends shout. He turned towards him and grinned "Mike…hows it going man"

The man laughed "Alright alright…how about you?" he asked. He was tall, taller than Tristan and had the same buff yet slim figure Tristan did. He had black hair which was curly enough to be considered an afro…

Tristan shrugged and sat down on the cot next to him "Eh…you know how it is." He said offhandedly

"Saved you a cot man" Mike said pointing to the one next to his

"Thanks" He said appreciatively happy that he didn't have to sleep on the floor despite getting there late. He looked around the small space set up for them…dirt floor, portable heaters everywhere and about 5 separate cots spread out across the room. Sighing he moved his things onto his bed…this was his life for the next 6 months.

Later that night, he groaned when he wasn't able to sleep at all. He knew he should…he _really_ should. Tomorrow was going to be hell even _with_ the proper amount of sleep. He quietly unzipped his duffel bag and took out the stack of letters Rory had given him. Smiling softly to himself he took out the first one and turned on his small light before opening the letter up and reading.

_Tristan, I don't actually know if you'll ever get these letters but I guess it's my version of a journal…maybe this will last longer because my last one lasted a whole 30 words. I always did find writing to an inanimate object strange._

Tristan chuckled after finishing that much. She found writing to them strange but talking to them and naming them was okay?

_There's something weird about you today…or I should say there __**was**__Today's sort of over…you look exhausted…tried and just too drained to function. Im a little bummed you're not telling me what's bothering you…and there is something bothering you, but you'll tell me when you're ready right? Who am I kidding; I'm not a patient person_

Tristan chuckled; he knew exactly which day she was taking about. It was the day he found out that he was being deported here…he couldn't bring himself to tell her and as much as he tried to hide it…she just knew him too well.

_So I want to know something, something that's been bothering me for the entire day. What did you put in the coffee this morning! Im going crazy trying to figure it out…_

Nutmeg. Tristan though to himself. He put nutmeg in her coffee that morning to throw her off a little and she had gone crazy with love…apparently his coffee matched Luke's, which was near impossible

_Despite the strange day, I really loved waking up with you this morning. I love how there was no awkwardness…it was nice. You know me and awkward situations; they just don't go well together. And since you'll never get this letter, I can say that I hope I wake up like that for the rest of my life…wow that was so cliché. I'm just going to stop now. But seriously, what's the deal? We've always been able to share things with each other…this has to be big if you're not telling me and are stressing this much about it. I can see the stress lines on your forehead now and it's taking everything I have to not wake you up and demand answers. I just hope that whatever it is, that you trust me enough to tell me…because if I don't know soon, my brain is just going to start racking up even stranger scenarios….and trust me, that wont be good for either of us. On the off chance that you do get these…I love you Tristan. Probably more than you think I do…I just hope you feel the same way. _

_Love,_

_Rory…Mary_

Tristan's eyes had misted over. He missed her now more than ever and he felt like shit for leaving her…she didn't blame him but it _was_ his fault. Albeit he couldn't help it but…it didn't hurt any less. Grabbing a pen and a piece of paper he began writing

_Mary,_

_Really? You think writing to inanimate objects is strange? Don't tell me you've given up your toaster naming and coffee pot conversation ways, I don't think I'll be able to adjust!_

_I remember the day you wrote this letter…I wasn't there to see you do it but I can just picture you writing it. It was the day I found out that I had to leave. I couldn't do that to you Mare, you were so happy, we were happy…I wanted that to last longer. The coffee that morning? Just a simple pinch of nutmeg. _

_I miss having you in my arms Rory…its hell. The bed feels awkward without you…cold. I knew you were nervous that morning after our first time…and I'm glad that you were okay…I could feel it when you woke up. Your whole body just sort of tensed…but I think when you remembered where you were…you relaxed…it felt good to know that you weren't embarrassed about being with me Mary…it felt good. When I get back…I promise, we won't spend one night apart. You'll get sick of me._

_Watching me sleep were you? I love you more than life itself Rory, and conveying this in a letter? It just doesn't cut it for me. You're the only thing that's keeping me sane out here…and I can't wait to hear your voice next week. Well it's the middle of the night here and I should be getting to sleep for my first day tomorrow. Goodnight baby…and I'll see you soon…before you know it. _

He finished the letter, stuck it in an envelope and wrote her address on it before shutting his light off and grunting as he plopped himself down in bed.

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It had been about 5 days since Tristan left and she had just gotten back to her apartment…sighing she checked her mail and grinned goofily when she found a letter addressed to her from Tristan. Quickly she got in the elevator back to her apartment before curling up on the couch and opening it. She realized he was responding to the first letter she wrote and smiled when she thought about him reading those. Even thousands of miles away, it still felt so intimate for him to read those…it was nice.

"Hey Logan?" She said into the phone softly, she had gotten up in the middle of the night, not being able to sleep any…feeling scared and lonely in their apartment.

"Ace?" she heard a groggy voice answer

"I'm sorry…are you busy? I didn't realize it was so late" She said quickly

"What's wrong Ace" She heard him sigh

"I feel…I don't know I just feel so alone" She said into the receiver, hoping she didn't sound foolish

Logan heard the vulnerability in her voice and smiled to himself "I'll be there in a bit…and Rory…"

"Hmm?"

"Don't worry about it" he said before hanging up

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A/N: There you go guys…next chapter is kind of intense…it jumps ahead 5 months…so bear with me. I thought the whole lack of troryness would get old…besides writing phone calls for 5 months is ridiculously difficult to come up with new ideas with…lol. Read an review!


	3. Chapter 3: As long as you love me

Chapter 3: As long as you love me

5 months and 2 weeks had passes since the day Tristan was shipped off…The first month was the most difficult for Rory. After that, it got easier, the pain didn't completely go away, nor did the loneliness but it got easier. She sighed as she looked at the calendar. 2 weeks. He was coming home in 2 weeks…she was so ecstatic she could hardly breathe.

"Who could that be" She muttered to herself as she looked at the time when hearing the doorbell rang. It was only 10 am…on a Sunday. Throwing on a sweater, she walked to the door and opened it…only to find two men dressed in uniform standing at her door. Tears welled in her eyes at the mere sight of them. This was never good, she had seen movies…it was never good for uniform men to come to your doorstep.

"Ms. Gilmore?" One of them spoke going on when she nodded mutely "You were listed as the contact for Tristan Dugrey?"

"Yeah is he okay?" she asked frantically

"He is hanging in there…Dugrey's a fighter" the one who was standing in the back said sympathetically, as if he knew who Tristan was.

"You know him? Is he alright?" Rory asked ushering them inside

"I know him" the man confirmed "We're sorry to inform you that his unit has been taken in by the Iraqi military" he said and just like a dam…her tears fell silently down her cheeks

"We can assure you that we are doing everything in our power to get them out of there" he said firmly sighing as he saw her nod mutely "Tristan's going to be fine…he loves you too much not to come back" he added

"How do you know him" Rory whispered

"I was his commanding officer when he was in training…I remember you. Never met you, but his description fits perfectly" he said with a smile

She nodded "Okay. Uhm…will you call me if anything…" she trailed off

He nodded "Of course…we have your information. Hang in there Rory" he said before making his way out

She knew this was a bad idea…it was bad from the beginning. She knew something like this would happen, her life had been too good lately…why not ruin It a little?

"_Ace, it's early" the voice on the other end whined_

"Logan" She choked "Tristan…his unit…his unit's been taken in by the Iraqi military" was all she managed to get out between sobs

"_I'm coming" he said before hanging up_

"What happened Rory" Logan demanded softly as he bolted through the door, looking for her in the apartment, finding her sitting on the couch staring out into space. He approached her and sat down next to her.

"They came here to tell me" she whispered as a single tear made its way down her cheek "I guess they got his unit…"

Logan frowned, Tristan was his best friend. "But they're only medics…why would they take them?!" he asked incredulously

She shook her head, her tears falling faster "I don know…I don't know." she whispered

"Did they say how bad it was?" he asked

"No…they don't know much" She said hoarsely

"He'll get through this" he said, convincing both of them "He's Tristan…"

"That doesn't make him invincible" Rory sniffled

"Try a little optimism" Logan said annoyed at the situation "he'll be fine. I mean people do this all the time"

"Logan sit down" Rory said, feeling guilty that she hadn't even considered his feelings in all of this. He was his best friend…she knew how he was feeling. "You want something to eat?"

"Ice cream. Or pie. Or cake. Or pizza" he listed off

She laughed sadly "You sound like a girl" she teased walking into the kitchen and grabbing what she had

"Thanks" he said shortly, grabbing the fork from her and digging into the pie she handed him, taking a huge bite before taking a deep breath and leaning back into the couch

"Feel better?" she asked, taking her previous position on the couch

He nodded "Yes oddly" making her laugh

"Well now you know why we take comfort in food"

"I love him Logan" Rory said quietly, tucking he legs beneath her and facing him

He nodded "I know…and so do I"

"He's all I've got" She whispered

Logan shook his head throwing an arm around her and bring her head to rest on his shoulder "You have me…" he said softly "And he loves you so much Rory…he won't leave you."

Rory nodded against his shoulder "Stay here tonight?" she asked not wanting to be alone

Logan closed his eyes taking deep breath "Sure. You want to call Lane?" he asked

Rory smiled "Yeah sure…you should call her, tell her what's going on" she said, happy that Lane and Logan found each other. They were good together…

He nodded "In a bit. She's with her mom right now" he said with a small shudder making Rory chuckle

"Mrs. Kim still not warming up to you?"

"Warming up?" he asked incredulously "She should be melting by now…we've been dating for a year!"

"Well give her time. And if not, don't worry…Lane's her own person. And she really loves you" Rory said softly

Logan softened a bit, his heart beating slightly quicker "Yeah?" he asked amused

"Yeah" Rory confirmed

"You guys talk about me a lot?" he asked smugly

Lifting her head from his shoulder she rolled her eyes "Arrogant bastard. I don't know what she sees in you" She teased

"Not in me baby…its what she _sees_" he joked making her shake her head while rolling her eyes.

"Call Lane!" She said pushing up a little

"Like I said, with her mom" he reminded her

"Exactly. She'll be happy for the distraction" Rory said raising her eyebrows, pointing out the obvious.

Logan laughed nodding his head as he took out his phone and dialed her number. "Awww look at that Lane is number 1 on your speed dial?" Rory cooed as he held the phone up to his ear

Logan glared at her and batted her hands away from him, which ere pinching his cheeks mockingly. "Hi Lane!" Rory shouted into the phone before Logan said anything

_Lane laughed "Logan? Is that you?" she asked_

Logan shook his head at Rory "Yeah it's me…what are you up to?" he asked

"_Shopping…with my mother" She said in disdain_

"Well where are you shopping?" he asked

"_New York…I was going to stop by Rory's later but I'm guessing you're already there?" She asked knowingly_

"Yup. Come on over…your mom can take of herself for a few hours cant she?"

"_My mom could probably fight the Nam on her own and still come out unscathed. I'll be there in a bit" _

"See I told you!" Rory exclaimed

"Hey hi hello, I'm here what's wrong?" lane asked immediately as she walked through the door

Logan raised an eyebrow at her from his spot on the couch. "What are you talking about? How long have you spent with your mother?" he asked suspiciously

Lane glared slightly "Oh stop it! I'm not an idiot Logan, the tone of your voice…and you're here with Rory. What's wrong" She demanded

Rory spoke up "Tristan isn't coming home in 2 weeks" she said vaguely

Lane's eyes widened immediately sat down between Rory and Logan "I'm sorry guys…" She said sympathetically "Why? His unit got extended?"

Logan shook his head, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath "He…he's been taken in by the government" he said quietly

"What!" Lane screeched "Please say our government!" shaking her head in sadness when both remained silent "Guys…"

"We're okay. Logan had pie. And we're okay" Rory said trying to convince herself of that as well.

Lane narrowed her eyes at Logan "Pie?" She asked confused

"I've figured out your secret, Pie…pie makes the world better" he stated

"You sound like a woman. I don know if I can date you anymore" Lane stated seriously.

Logan smirked leaning closer "Aw you don't mean that. You love the feminine side of me" he teased

Lane raised an eyebrow "Did you just say feminine side of you?"

"Anyways" Rory stated saving Logan "You want something to eat Lane?" she asked

Lane shook her head "no but you guys must be crushed right now…." She said sympathetically "And so am I! Did they say anything else?"

Rory shook her head "I'm guessing they don't know much either."

Lane shot Rory an incredulous look "Okay so I may have gone online and done some research on POW's and all that" She sighed

"Better" Lane coaxed

"And it's horrible…which is why I don't want to think about it. I mean what if they're torturing him as we speak? What am I supposed to do about that? I don't want to think! God Lane…don't you get it; I'm better off not knowing! I would kill myself if I knew for sure that he was going through some of the stuff I read today!" Rory said, her voice rising louder with each word she spoke.

Lane remained silent "Are you done?" she asked

"Sorry" Rory mumbled in embarrassment

"I'm glad you got that off your chest" Lane shrugged "But Tristan is going to be fine…I mean have you seen the guy? He'll be home before you know it…" she assured

"Thanks" Rory said

"Okay" Lane said letting out a breath while placing a hand on both Logan and Rory's legs "We need to do something"

"Do something? Like what? I think the military would frown upon us creating our own covert operation" Rory retorted

Lane rolled her eyes "Let's…go watch a movie!" She suggested

"Too lazy." Logan answered earning a glare from Lane

"Fine. Well then order some pizza, and we'll just watch something here" She said

Logan groaned "I'll fall asleep"

"Yeah so will I" Rory muttered in agreement

"You two suck you know that?" Lane grumbled

"We try babe. Just relax…" Logan said pulling her back so she was leaning against the couch like they were.

"Listen, why don't you guys just stay tonight? I mean…I don't really feel like being alone" Rory asked more than stated

Lane nodded "I don't mind…Logan?"

"Of course Ace" He said easily "We're all yours"

"So. How much faith exactly do you have in our armed forces?" Rory asked suddenly after a while

"Popping a movie in right now" Lane stated looking pointedly at both Logan and Rory.

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A/N: Okay so there it is…next chap is sort of a big one :) Please review. I have half the next chap written so I may be nice and post that real soon too


	4. Chapter 4: I'm goin home

Chapter 4: I'm goin home

A month had passed and still no news…every day Rory was going crazy. She had almost lost her job because she couldn't concentrate on anything, once she explained everything to her boss he very generously cut her some slack but she knew it wasn't fair to the paper…

"Rory Gilmore" She answered her phone as she filed through some papers at her desk

"_We would just like to inform you that Tristan Dugrey will be arriving in Hartford at 9:30 pm tomorrow night" the ma non the other line said_

Rory froze as tears sprang to her eyes "what?" She whispered

"_Tristan Dugrey will be at the Hartford Airport tomorrow night at 9:30" the man repeated_

"Uhm" She choked "May I know who I'm speaking to?" She asked her voice wavering

"_Sure this is Ryan Reynolds" he said_

"Okay. Is there a number I can reach you at?" She asked

"_I unfortunately do not have a direct number you can reach me at, but call this number back and just dial extension 4937 and my secretary will put you through" he said_

"Thank you" She said before hanging up and looking down.

"Rory? Are you alright?" she heard her boss ask

Rory's head snapped up "He's coming home" She whispered with a smile

Michael grinned "Take the next week off Gilmore…you deserve it" he said sincerely happy for her

Rory's eyes widened in surprised "No Mike…I couldn't" she said feeling terrible about how much slack he was cutting her

Mike chuckled "You truly are one of a kind" he muttered "Just take the time off…spend time with him. He'll need that"

Rory nodded "Thank you" she said as she gathered her things

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"Logan?" She asked into the phone

"_Ace" he said distractedly as he said something to a business associate_

"He's coming home" She said happily

"_Excuse me" Logan said still distracted_

"Tristan. He's coming home!" Rory exclaimed "Tomorrow night at 10…he'll be here"

"_You're kidding" Logan choked_

"No" Rory said taking offense to that comment "Swing by on Thursday and come see him?" She asked

"_Of course…do you want me to come pick him up at the airport with you?" he asked_

"No…I think he'll be all tired out…I'm sure he'll want to talk and everything" She said dreading it already

_As if sensing her worry "Rory. He loves you more than life…you guys will be great." He assured "Don't worry about it okay? Once you see him…it'll just come naturally. You know that"_

Rory smiled "Yeah I know" She said softly "Well I'll let you get back to work. I'll call you once he lands tomorrow and then you can come see us on Thursday" she said

"_Sounds good Ace. I'm glad he's coming home…"_

"Me too" She said and clicked the phone shut

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Rory waited anxiously at the bottom of the escalators at the Hartford airport. She had gone through 3 cups of coffee and a muffin since she had gotten there an hour early because of her anxiousness. Finally she saw him. Walking down the hall towards the stairs…still wearing his uniform… he looked miserable but beautiful nonetheless to her. He managed a weak smile when he made eye contact with her. She noticed his hair had grown out, it was dirty…he was dirty. As he walked down the stairs, closer to her she felt tears pool in her eyes as she looked him over. Cuts and bruises covered his cheeks, minor ones, but they were there all the same. When she finally broke from her thoughts she realized he was standing in front of her. Looking up into his eyes, she felt her tears fall

"Mary" he said softly making her choke on a sob and launch herself into his arms.

"Idiot idiot idiot" She sobbed

Tristan closed his eyes as a few tears rolled down his cheeks as well. He was relieved…relieved that he had made it home…relieved that he had his Mary back in his arms again. Finally when she composed herself realizing they were at the airport she pulled back "Come on, lets go home" She said taking his bag from him ignoring his protests

"Just please" She said when he tried taking his duffel bag from her while they walked to the car. "I got it Tristan…god you…I…" She stuttered as she felt the emotion rise within her again. Luckily the sign said it was okay for them to cross at that moment, breaking her from her thoughts.

Once in the car Rory sat behind the wheel, not being able to turn on the ignition "I hate you" She whispered her shoulders heaving with silent sobs "I hate you so much"

Tristan watched her sympathetically. Reaching over he took her hand in his "I missed you Mary" he whispered

"Tristan" She sobbed not knowing what she wanted to say

"I know…I'm here now" he said softly understanding her struggle "Calm down" he whispered

"Are you hungry?" She asked sniffling afterwards

He shook his head "No I just want to sleep" he said quietly

She nodded "Okay" while she pulled out and began driving home.

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"Hey you're awake" Rory said coming into the bedroom after a few hours. As soon as Tristan and Rory got home, he had padded straight to the bedroom and fell into an exhausted sleep.

Tristan's head snapped up from his pillow "Leave me the fuck alone" he bit out

Rory took a step back "Tristan…" she said softly, tugging at the ends of her sleeves nervously

"JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE RORY! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT WAS! JUST STOP PRETENDING LIKE EVERYTHINGS OKAY" he shouted picking up a book that was on the counter and throwing it at the wall in front of him

Rory was trying desperately not to cry in front of him. He was upset…he had a right to be. She thought to herself.

"Shit…shit shit shit shit!" He shouted, getting louder each time as he sat and clutched his head in frustration. "Fuck!" he shouted knocking the lamp over

Rory took a step towards him, stopping when his eyes snapped to her "Don't come near me Rory" He pleaded tears in his eyes as well

Rory shook her head, not wanting to listen to him and continued on towards the bed, carefully sitting down on the edge of it, next to him.

"Rory" he protested

"Hey, what happened to Mary?" She whispered

Tristan didn't smile "you should go. Before I do something…go"

Rory shook her head "I've been waiting for this day for a long time." She said softly running her fingers through his shortly cropped hair "I'm here Tristan" She whispered kissing his forehead, closing her eyes as he clutched her forearms so hard she knew there would be bruises, but it didn't matter…he needed her.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly

"Come on, you hungry?" she asked

"Starving" He said "But…I'd rather just stay here"

"I can bring you something" Rory offered "What do you want?"

He shook his head "What time is it?"

"Late" She answered

"I have a doctors appointment tomorrow" he said "It's early so I should sleep" he added lying back down and closing his eyes

"Okay…" She said, lying down next to him making his eyes snap open

"What are you doing?" he demanded

"I'm going to sleep too…I'm tired" She said confused

"Not here you're not" He said seriously

"What?" She asked

"Stay away from me Rory…" he sighed

"No" She stated defiantly turning towards him and closing her eyes "Go to sleep Tristan" She said knowing he was about to talk

Sighing he closed his eyes, trying to get to sleep.

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"What the hell" Rory muttered waking up when she felt Tristan thrashing around in his sleep. She looked over and saw his fists were clenched, he was physically shaking and his face was fierce…like he was in pain.

Rory panicked…what did she do? Are you supposed to wake someone in this state? "Tristan" She whispered thinking it would be best, obviously she was wrong. His eyes snapped open and he bolted up, his fists bunching up the sheets into tight balls. She made the mistake of touching him; she touched his shoulder as a sign of comfort. Immediately feeling the contact his head snapped towards her and he stood up, backing away from the bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked softly

He shook his head, turning away from her facing the wall. Angrily he punched the offending piece of stucco several times, trying to get his anger out. What scared Rory though was that he kept going, she saw his knuckles visibly pool with blood. She didn't know what to do….she couldn't go and stop him; for the first time in her life she was afraid of him. Not realizing what she was doing she stood up and carefully walked past him to the door and walked out. When Tristan was finally calming down, he looked over and noticed Rory was gone…he couldn't say he was expecting that. He was surprised…shocked…heartbroken.

"Logan?" Rory whispered once she was standing outside of her apartment building

"_Ace? It's like 4 in the morning what's up?" he asked groggily_

"Could you come pick me up?" She asked

"_Where are you?" he asked more alert_

"Outside my building"

"_Get back inside right now Rory" Logan said annoyed slipping out of bed and slipping into a pair of pants "What the hell are you thinking standing outside at this time of night?"_

"Just come get me" Rory said softly and hung up

"Hey" She said slipping into his car

"What's wrong Rory?" He asked

She shook her head "He's changed Logan…I don't know what to do you know? I mean he's have panic attacks…it's all too much" She whispered

Logan shook his head "You don't get to run out on him Rory…" He said sternly but with no anger behind it "He is your life…and you're his life. What did you expect? He was held prisoner for over 3 months, who knows what they did to him there. But you can't leave him alone!" he exclaimed softly "You know he'd never hurt you…not intentionally. You have to help him…"

"How?" she choked desperately

"Well first of all you can't leave him alone, and second get him a therapist…no matter what he says, he needs one. I'll help you find one" he assured "But he's going to be fine…you just have to help him get there"

"I'm terrible…he was so violent, not towards me" She said quickly seeing Logan's worried eyes "But he was punching the wall and I just snapped…the night before he kind of freaked out too. I didn't know what to do…so I called you" she said

"You're not terrible. The only way you could be _terrible_ is if you left him completely Rory…he needs you right now. And never once has he fallen short when you needed him…" Logan reminded

"Yes I know" Rory said softly hating herself even more

"Look I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad about yourself okay?" Logan said putting a comforting hand on her shoulder "But you guys will get through this…if I believed in the whole soul mate crap, you guys would be it…" he smiled

Rory nodded "Could we get some coffee?"

"Yeah sure" Logan said turning his ignition

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"Tristan…I'm so sorry. I just" She paused "I got scared" she pleaded searching his tired eyes for anything. She could tell he hadn't slept all night after his little outburst. He was still in his pajamas, his eyes bloodshot, his hair still messy from the pillow and he was draped lazily across the bed.

"You came back? Rory?" She heard him ask desperately, not even looking back at her

Her heart broke form him…god how could she ever believe he was dangerous? Gently she slipped into bed with him and crushed her body against his, feeling tears on her neck she pulled back "I'm sorry…so sorry" She said sincerely, tears threatening to fall.

"I wont hurt you…I would never hurt you" He cried quietly looking down at himself and shaking his head 

"No. you wouldn't" She whispered "I love you…god I'm terrible I know…but I'm back. You are my life, and we'll get through this okay?"

"You were so scared……………of me" he said finally like he hadn't heard her.

"Tristan…hey it's me. I'm here. Look at me" Rory said, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look at her "Hey babe…" She whispered, a few tears running down her cheeks when he finally looked at her "Its me…Mary"

"I could never forget this face Rory…I know who you are" he said quietly, lifting an arm up and stroking her hair back.

"I know that. But you weren't responding" she said, rubbing the stubble on his cheeks gently.

"Why did you leave? I needed you" He whispered, looking expectantly at her with sad eyes.

"I shouldn't have left. I feel terrible; you just caught me off guard. I promise though, I'll be here from now on…no matter what" She promised

"Were you afraid I was going to hurt you?" he asked afraid to know the answer

"At the time yes" She said, watching tears slip down his cheeks "But it thought about how stupid that was. Listen…I know you'd never hurt me; you're the sweetest man I know Tristan and I trust you" She finished

"But I did scare you. I should move out" He said sadly

"What? No. you're not going anywhere" Rory said strongly "I love you!"

"I love you too. But I don't want you to be uncomfortable" he said

"I'm not. You." She stated "Are mine, and are going to let me take care of you"

Tristan lips tugged upwards into a small smile "I'm yours huh?" he asked softly

Rory smiled as well "Of course" She said simply "And I'm yours"

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A/N: Wow that was sort of along wait huh? Review please :)


	5. Chapter 5: Revelance

Chapter 5: Revelance

* * *

"What happened over there Tristan?" Rory asked quietly while tightly clutching her coffee mug

Tristans head snapped up "What?" He croaked, not expecting her to ask "What the hell kind of question is that?" He demanded

"I…I just wanted to help. Thought you wanted to talk about it" She tried

"Well don't please. It hurts to talk about" He said, softening when he realized she was just concerned

She nodded "Okay…sorry. You want to go out today?" she asked with a smile

He nodded, grateful for the change of subject "Movie?" He suggested

"Ooh! Cloverfield" She squealed

"But we know the outcome!" He whined playfully

"Its J.J. Abrams Tristan, it would be a crime not to see it" she countered

"Who knew you were such a science fiction buff" he mused

"Hey Tris?" She asked a little while later

"Hmm" he hummed cautiously, hearing the tone in her voice

"You…you wont ever have to go back" She asked nervously

He stiffened but shook his head "I don't think I could" he admitted

"Will you talk about this eventually?" She asked softly, not prodding or forcing just curious

"I'll try when I'm ready" He whispered

"Thank you" Rory smiled, pulling him in for a hug "Its good to have you home Tristan" She whispered

"Its good to be home" he responded quietly. "So how about that movie hmm?"

"Let me just check the times" she smiled

"I never asked Rory." he started out, sitting down on the couch as she fished in her purse for her cell. "H-how, I mean, were you okay when I was..." he trailed off uneasily

She turned to him with a sad smile and came to sit down next to him "I got through it" she whispered, running a soft hand through his hair "Thats all that matters"

"I talked to Logan" he mumbled resting his head against the back of the couch, and looking at her expectantly

"He shouldn't have said anything"

"He was looking out for you. and just being my best friend" Tristan defended quietly "I'm sorry I put you through so much Rory. I'll never forgive myself for that..."

"Why would you say something like that" She snapped, pushing his shoulder as hard as she could "I dont want that for you!" she exclaimed "I want you to be happy...thats all i've ever wanted"

"I'll be happy again" he promised

"I know" she murmured, "On second thought, lets stay in tonight"

"No Rory...we can go out" he protested, feeling guilty for being such a downer

"I don't really want to" She smiled, scooting closer to him "I'd rather have you to myself for a little longer"

"Mary" he laughed breathily, looking at her for a few minutes, in silence...as if studying her before speaking softly "Come on, you hungry or tired?"

"Just a little tired" she laughed while letting him pull her up from the couch

"I'm exhausted. Who knew time difference would take this long to get used to" he muttered just as a loud crack echoed through the room. Tristan immediately jumped, feeling like his heart skipped a beat and pulled Rory behind him.

"Hey" she mumbled "Its just a car backfiring. that happens a lot here remember?" she joked quietly

"Sorry" he said

"though I'm flattered you wouldn't use me as your shield" she teased

"Ha-ha" he said dryly but with a smile "Lets get some rest hmm?"

"its still early" she sighed, not at all tired while she watched him get into bed.

"I know" he grinned "Just get in..." he patted the place beside him

"I missed you so much Tristan" she mumbled, sidling up close to him

"I know" he sighed, wrapping an arm around her

"An-and i'm trying so hard" she choked "I'm just...You have enough to worry about. But I cant anymore...I cant" Rory shook with tears, clutching onto him as tightly as she could

"I'm here Mar" he whispered, stroking her hair softly "You dont have to be anything. I'm here" he pressed his face into her hair

"Dont leave me tonight okay?" she hiccuped

"No" he promised "No of course not"

"Heyy" he drawled out softly when he felt her body shaking "Dont cry sweetheart. We'll get through this..."

"I'm sorry" she laughed breathily against his neck

"Dont be" He whispered, giving her a small squeeze "Lets not spend the first night I'm not insane like this okay?"

"You're not insane" She mumbled, kissing his shoulder before pulling back

"Where are you going?" he asked with a small smile when she moved away from him

"To let you change." she said

"Okay" he laughed, pulling off his sweatpants so he was in boxers and a T-shirt.

"What about the shirt" she frowned. she was turned away from him, changing into her own pajamas.

"I'm fine" he stated

"B-but you never sleep with your shirt on" she replied, as she finished changing, turning back around

"Why are you so adamant about this?" he smirked

"I just...i miss sleeping with you. and not in that way" she said before he could say anything dirty

He eyed her cautiously while slowly grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it upwards, closing his eyes when he heard a sharp intake of breath come from Rory. Throwing his shirt to the side, he opened his eyes and saw her horrified features.

"Tristan" she whispered shakily, crawling over to him on the bed and gently touching a scar on his shoulder "They-uhm" she cleared her throat "They look painful"

"They were" he mumbled, looking down

"Tristan" Rory trembled "I-...I'm so sorry"

"Its not your fault" he murmured, sighing when he felt her lips caress his shoulder wound

"You uh-are you in any pain?" She asked, resting her forehead against his

"I'm okay" he smiled, cupping her cheeks "Thank you"

"For what?"

"For not being...disgusted. revolted. For seeing past them"

"Never" she laughed as if what he was saying were incredulous "Believe it or not Tristan, you look even hotter than before" she teased

He chuckled, a small glint in his eye "Really" he whispered against her lips

"Yeah" she mumbled back, her head feeling fuzzy from being this close to him after such a long time.

He smiled at the obvious effect he had on her "Mary?"

"Hmm" she hummed, her eyes closed while she relished the feelings coursing through her

He grinned, leaning down and kissing her neck gently; gouging her mood before continuing his path along her jaw, leaving a series of open mouthed kisses there. He held back a chuckle when he heard her whimper at his ministrations.

"I love you" he said softly, pulling back and kissing her forehead

"God I missed this Tristan" she let out a heavy breath, melting against him before pulling back quickly and opening her eyes, eyeing him wearily

"What?" he asked confused at her sudden change of mood

"Sorry I didn't mean to hurt you" she said quickly

He rolled his eyes with a smile "You didn't" he assured

"You want to talk about it?" she asked quietly, her eyes tracing over all his scars and bruises

"It was hell" he whispered after a few minutes of silence "They-they had us hanging by our wrists from the ceiling." he showed her his wrists which were covered in bruises and fading welts "Sometimes it was upside down, by our ankles."

"So they could-" she swallowed thickly "Beat the soles of your feet with pipes, or hoses"

"Yeah" he whispered

"I did as much research as I could about it when they came and broke the news to me" she choked, cupping his cheeks and kissing him quickly

"It was hot. Maybe around 104 degrees during the day, and freezing at night. I felt like I was in hell...fuck I wished i was there" he gritted his teeth, taking hold of her hand "It was....scary..." he said slowly, trying to find the right word "Every day they made us think we were going to die" he turned to her abruptly when he heard a loud muffled sob coming from next to him. Her eyes were wide with terror, tears running down her cheeks and her hand muffling the cries she was making.

"Rory" he whispered, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing her knuckles

"No I'm sorry" she took a deep breath, calming herself down "Go on."

"Are you sure?" he asked in concern

Shaking her head at him, she groaned inwardly. he had just gotten back from Iraq, being tortured and kidnapped and he was still worrying about her. what the hell was wrong with him! "yes. It will help to talk about this." she said strongly

"There were 3 of us. Matt, Kevin and I" he said again, averting his eyes from her "I think they had others, but we weren't kept in the same room as them. The woman were kept separately. We could hear them at night. So loud, yet so distant. It was terrifying, what they were doing to them." he shook, with fear, anger, guilt...

"They" he swallowed thickly "The second night...they hung us by our ankles. Our heads maybe a foot from the floor. We were too worn out to even care what they did at this point; that is until pipes started smashing into the soles of our feet. They never did it together. No" he said softly, as if he were in a trance "Always one by one. Making us watching, listen..feel the other persons pain. Of course we were all medics, so they figured we could take care of each-other" he thought bitterly "They didn't let us tend to our wounds for days...it was agony."

"Sleep" he mumbled "was never consistent. They wouldn't let us sleep for days. Beating us if we did...it was a torture all in its own. We just wanted to escape the pain, escape the fear with the only thing possible...passing out, but we were forbidden to do that as well. Matt eventually passed out, no matter how hard they beat him or how loud they shouted; he couldn't wake up. His body had gone into shock."

"Is Matt okay?" Rory whispered, stroking his hair softly

Tristan nodded "he's safe now"

"Just like you" she assured

"I cant sleep Rory" he said vulnerably, his eyes watering "I-I'm scared"

Rory held her tears back, knowing if she let them fall they'd never stop. "I'm here" she promised, hugging him to her "I'm here"

"I'm scared if I close my eyes...when I wake up, i'll be in that room again. With Matt and Kevin." he cried

"Lets lay down" She whispered, pulling the covers up and pulling him down with her before pulling him closer "I promise you Tristan" She started out strong "I swear to you that nothing is going to happen. And i'll be right here when you wake up again"

"I'm so tired" he whispered, his eyes drooping despite his effort to keep them open

"Sleep" she urged "I'm not going to. I promise. I'll be with you"

"I love you so much Mary" he mumbled, eyes fully shut now

She nodded, tears pouring from her eyes when he was finally asleep "You have no idea Tristan..." she murmured to herself, resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

Rory didn't sleep much that night. She couldn't bring herself to, thinking of all the horrible things that happened to him. It must have been a nightmare. She envied him, loved him, respected him for going through all that and making it out. She didn't know if she could do the same thing had she been in the same position. Ever since Tristans outburst when he got back, she had read up on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; trying to find ways to help him.

"Hey" she mumbled, feeling him tense in his sleep. he began mumbling incoherently before tossing and turning in her arms; she squeezed him as tightly as she could, reading that constant pressure helped calm the nerves. But it was difficult because he was probably 100 times stronger than she was "Hey..." she whispered, still holding him as tightly as she could despite his struggle "Calm down. Relax" He was practically draped on top of her now. His head resting on her chest while his arm was strewn across her. After a few minutes of struggling, he finally calmed down enough to go back to a peaceful sleep.

Rory sighed, looking over at the clock. It was 4am now. And she had gotten maybe an hour of sleep. Tristan was still strewn across her chest while she held him tightly, making sure he felt secure. She wound one of her hands into his hair and gently massaged his head absentmindedly; continuing, until before she knew it, light was shining through the windows. She realized 2 hours had passed and it was already 6, Tristan would be waking up any time now.

The next thing she knew, she found Tristan staring down at her with those icy blue eyes that would be able to melt anybody. "Hi" she whispered with a smile

"Hi" he smiled back, kissing her forehead and frowning when he noticed how red and puffy her eyes were. "Didnt sleep much?" he asked, running a soft hand across her cheek

"Couldn't" She shrugged

"I'm sorry"

"Dont be" She insisted "It was nice to just be with you"

"Well why dont you sleep now" He said, laying back down, this time beside her "I've slept longer than I have in months."

"Im glad" Rory grinned, turning her body to face him and wincing a little as she realized it was the first time she had moved all night since she was afraid to wake him

"Stiff?" He asked slightly guilty

"I'm fine Tristan" She said "Come on, i'll make you breakfast" she added, as another yawn hit her

He laughed softly, pulling her towards him "Sleep" he whispered "I think its my shift now"

ROry laughed against his neck "Night"

"Goodnight" he said, wrapping his arms tightly around her just as her breathing evened out.

* * *

"Tristan.....Rory!" A voice shouted a few hours later. Tristan groaned, he had been happily reading a book when Logan had barged into his apartment. He wasn't able to move since Rory was practically attached to his side.

"Shhhh!" He whispered when Logan finally found them

"You are a dick" Logan stated, walking over to him and punching his shoulder while giving him a quick hug

"Owe!" he exclaimed "asshole"

"You two okay?" he pointed down at Rory

Tristan nodded "She hasn't slept much" He said

"Yeah, for the past 6 months" Logan sighed

"So what are you two up to today" he asked, leaning against the wall

"Well, we were actually planning to call you and Lane for dinner" he said "You guys free?"

Logan nodded "I'm sure I can pencil you in" he grinned "She really is sorry for the other night man...i think you just surprised her"

Tristan nodded "I know....it makes sense. I was just a little crazy"

"A little?" Logan teased

"Fuck off Huntzberger. I'll be out in a sec" Tristan glared

* * *

What started out to be gentle, became furious almost. He growled in what sounded like anger as he attacked her mouth roughly, biting down on her lips, eliciting a whimper of pain from her, which only seemed to spur him on. Roughly, he threw her against the wall and covered her body with his, never breaking his lips from hers. His hands gripped her waist so hard she knew it would leave a bruise for weeks…He ripped her shirt off, sending buttons flying everywhere, following his action by ripping his off and pulling back momentarily to take it off.

"Tristan" Rory whispered tearily when he finally pulled back for a few seconds making something inside him snap. His head shot up and the look on his face was one of pure shock. What had he done?

Slowly he put his hands up in defense and backed away from her. Rory wiped her tears away and shook her head at him, walking closer with each step he took away from her. "Tristan don't" She whispered as if trying to calm a wild animal. He merely shook his head, not able to look her in the eye and quickly made his way into their bedroom, not believing what he had just done…what the hell was wrong with him! He sat on the edge of the bed, facing away from the door and towards the window.

Rory took a deep breath and quietly turned the door handle smiling as she saw him. He hadn't heard her come in, but she didn't want to spook him…apparently that's bad for people who have just come back from war.

"Tristan" She said softly, watching him straighten up some but stay as he was. Now that he knew she was there she climbed onto the bed, sat behind him and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his back "Its okay" she said strongly

He shook his head, trying to get up and get her to let him go, but she wasn't budging. "Say something Tristan" she pleaded

"How is what I just did okay?" he asked sharply

Rory gently stroked his chest as she spoke "Its okay because I said it was okay" She stated in a playful tone, sighing when he didn't laugh or smile "I trust you Tristan…that's why I'm here right now. You need to trust me" She whispered the last part, somewhat hurt and somewhat sympathetic that he had lost that along the way

"I'm trying" He choked "I'm trying so hard"

"Shh" She whispered tears coming to her own eyes as she felt his shoulders shake from the tears he was trying to keep at bay "I know you are"

"I love you and it kills me that I cant trust you…cant trust anyone" he whispered grabbing one of her hands and holding it to his lips "But don't give up on me Mary…I couldn't take it if you gave up too…"

Rory shook her head "I'm here Tristan…I'm here for you no matter what" She said softly "I trust you and that's enough for right now. You'll get there…but I'm never going to give up on us…I love you too much to do that."

He finally turned in her direction, his lower lip trembling slightly "I hurt you Rory…" he whispered as he saw her lip was bleeding slightly and saw the marks he left on her torso as he looked over her. He brought his hand to her stomach and tentatively grazed the bruises which were already forming "I don't even trust myself"

"Hurt isn't the word I would use" She said with a small smile "But there was definitely something…hot about it." eliciting a small chuckle from Tristan.

"See" She said with a smile sucking in a sharp breath when his hand came to rest on her lower back. Immediately he pulled it back.

"Turn around" He stated

"Tristan…" Rory protested

"Turn around Rory" he ordered again…somewhat desperately

Sighing Rory turned around and heard him breath heavily at what he saw. "Jesus…" he groaned

"Its fine Tristan. Just the fault of a poorly placed door handle" she said turning back around with a smile

He shook his head "I'm sorry" he said so softly you could barely hear him

"Hey" She said teasingly "What did I say? How many languages do I have to say 'its okay' in for you to believe it?"

"Now I think we should try that again some time. Preferably in another time frame but same concept" she said cheekily making him chuckle

"There we go" she nudged him

"Thank you Rory" he said full of emotion "Without you…..." he trailed off not even wanting to know where he would be

"Hey…we don't have to worry about without…because I am here" she said strongly

"Now, you have an appointment in an hour so we should get cleaned up" she said, running her fingers through his hair

"Appointment?" he asked confused "With who?"

"A therapist" Rory said hesitantly seeing a defiant look come across his features

"I don't need therapy Rory" He stated

"You do…" She said softly "Maybe you don't" she said afterwards, taking a different approach. "But what's the harm in trying…for me?"

"Rory" he groaned

"Please?" She pleaded

"Fine" he said annoyed "Come here" he said pulling her closer to him and kissing her gently "I'm sorry, this probably wasn't what you were expecting when I got back huh?"

Rory looked down, and when she looked back up she had tears brimming her eyes "No" She admitted quietly "I was expecting a lot worse" she whispered

Tristan looked at her longingly before reaching up and wiping a few stray tears away and smiling reassuringly at her "I'll get better"

"Of course you will…I'm not doubting that Tristan. I just wish I could do more" she said getting up

"Sit back down Rory" he sighed, going to the drawer in the bathroom and pulling out a first aid kit.

"What's that for?" she asked confused

"For your back…" he stated sitting down on the bed behind her "Bend over a little"

"Its fine" she insisted doing what he asked

"Its not that bad…just tender…" he said hearing her suck in a sharp breath as he barely touched it. he gently rubbed some cream onto it and covered it with a piece of gauze.

* * *

A/N: please dont throw rocks at me!! I know its been FOREVER. And I honestly just dont have motivation anymore...but it should come back :) I get these random spurs of writing, and instead of starting new stories...I try and apply them to my old ones haha...so i dont have any unfinished ones :)

Anyways, I really hope this chapter is worth reading....and maybe i'll write more for this story! Review please


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